Dance has always been a part of my life, from being a tiny ballerina to dancing in front of my mirror as a tween to late night clubbing through college, to randomly breaking into dance as an adult. I took classes off and on, ballet, tap and jazz from the time I was 4- I even performed several times - and then in my mid twenties, a Lyrical Jazz class I was taking in Boulder intimidated me and I stopped. This decision is also what lead me to find Iyengar Yoga, which I will be forever grateful for. Twelve years in, I plan to do yoga as long as I am alive.
But...I knew I always wanted to make a return to dance. {As was evidenced by the fact that even with my multiple bouts of de-cluttering and organzing, I could never let go of my ballet and jazz shoes.} If you live in L.A., a city filled with professional dancers, now we're talking intimidation. You know how it is with some classes. There's a lot of attitude from the other dancers, and sometimes even from the teachers. With any class you have to be willing to find the one that is the right fit for you. And don't be afraid to make a change if it isn't.
Also, while it felt like forever that I put off taking dance again - sometimes in life we can only take on one scary thing at a time. For a good several year chunk of my thirties building an art business from scratch was all I had the energy and bravery for. While this post is ultimately in service of encouraging you to do those things that have been scaring you, it's important to note that we don't have to do everything all at once and being gentle with ourselves when we are already being brave in one area of life is a nice thing to do.
I think leaving my class in Boulder was really all in my head. I let myself get intimidated. Nobody did it to me. My teacher was excellent, a former Denver Bronco's cheerleader, she lead a class full of young competition students. Class was inspiring and pushed me to become better. I think if I remember correctly my teacher even asked me if I was going to audition for the team? But I ignored that, instead spending most classes feeling like I was nowhere as good as everyone else. Oh and in class, I felt kind of old at 26. Hindsight. Seriously, why do we start doing that age thing to ourselves so early?
Not anymore. I realized that this fear I've had - time for it to go. Several months before my 40th birthday I decided no more waiting. If you get one thing when you turn 40 and you're an entrpreneur , it's that there's just no more room for intimidation. Whey spend one more day of my life worrying about what others think, especially in a dance class.
So I did it. I joined a beginning ballet class to rebuild my dance foundation and in the ten months I've been been back, I've also added on a contemporary jazz class. It feels so good to be back. I'm now going 3-4 times a week.
I'm really happy with my classes and my studio. I found one here in L.A. that is all about the love of dance. The dominant attitude of the teachers is supportive. What I also think is great is the range of ages and sexes of the students who come to class. Yes, there are professionals there and even in a beginning class I'm still surrounded by great students {who continue to make me want to be better} but this time I'm ok, especially with being a beginner again. When I'm the last one, the end of the line traveling across the floor and that old feeling of self judgment creeps up I remember that it doesn't exist in my life anymore. I let it go and I have fun. And not to mention I'm getting in some serious excercise - always good for the body and the overall mental state.
I wanted to share this with you here, because a while back when I instagram-ed these photos I had several people telling me they too wanted to make the return to dance. All I want to add is this: to any of you on the fence about making a return to or being a beginner again {at whatever you love or want to explore} - DO IT!!
