Flowers are a pleasing image to go with talk about recovery and fibroids? yes? What image does one choose when discussing fibroids? These awesome gladiolas, just about to bloom, were given to me by Seanie. *bless him*
*whew* here I am! back at the blog. I'm going to be honest and say that there was a moment there over the last ten days when I thought about leaving the blog all together, because tweeting to communicate is just so much easier and far less time consuming...especially when you are about to write a post like this one.
Probably, really, I was and still am tired after having my body invaded and also I've been avoiding this post.
Why? because I'm private and modest {not to be confused with prudish} and there's really no way around coming back to this blog without sharing at least some of what I went through with you.
And why would that be? Because I'm all high and mighty on my soapbox about being genuine, and I believe that a certain level of honesty these days helps us feel more connected and less alone. I really got that when I wrote my last post about 'approaching possible surgery'. You have no idea how much comfort it brought me to not only hear from you, but to know that so many of you understood exactly what I was going through. When facing a scary, uncomfortable life situation, knowing you are not alone = priceless.
So this is the part of this post where I will say to any of my male readers if you are squeamish about 'lady things', and female readers if you're squeamish about your bodies, you can just stop reading here.
Actually I want to take a moment and talk about the squeamish females among us ~ of which I am one, until recently that is. Since we are living in a more transparent world, I think it's really a shame that many of us have limited knowledge about and appreciation for the absolute brilliance that is our body. Knowledge is power, when you are ready to know, which is key. With the internet, there can be too much knowledge, and more specifically the scary kind. Which as I'm sure you already know that is not my style so hopefully this post won't be scary but more informative. Not to worry, I'm not getting into all the nitty gritty details. I'm still private at heart, but I'm going to be as specific as I can be so that those of you who might be dealing with something similar can get the help you need.
A five centimeter fibroid was removed from my uterus - can I hear a hallelujah {without abdominal surgery!!!} My understanding, since my knowledge and awareness of fibroids and their removal has only recently become commonplace in my world, this is quite a feat for a doctor to accomplish.
The stress was in the uncertainty of it all. As I mentioned in my last post, I did not know what outcome I would wake up with. Naturally I felt immense relief waking up with no fibroid and a trip home that same day. Not only for the recovery time involved but the cost. The cost is more than double if you have full on surgery and have to stay in a hospital overnight. And I do have insurance. Believe me, my experience with the expenses + insurance is a whole separate post that I would also like to talk to share with you one of these days.
Here's the thing- apparently a lot of women have fibroids, or have had them or are living them with them right now and don't even know about them. What is up with that?! I wonder? Really I do. I did not know I had one. I had no crazy cramping and I didn't think my period was unusually heavier than it had been. It was discovered by my doctor while researching other complications, yet another separate blog post topic. My doctor says that they kind of sneak up on us. This one I had may have been growing anywhere from 3 - 5 years. Yup, I've not only been growing a blog and a business but I've been growing a fibroid too. Makes me wonder, do you think stress influences the growth of a fibroid...
Also if you have a fibroid, you can be anemic. Fibroids basically hijack your blood supply to survive and whether you notice it or not, you do bleed more during your period. I have now been diagnosed with anemia and am taking iron supplements to get my blood back to normal. Probably the reason why I seemed to get plenty of rest and yet, still felt tired most of the time.
I hope I haven't scared you so far, because this is not anything to fear. Fibroids are 99.9% not cancerous and many people do live with them. But it's good to know if you have one, and it's good to know that removing them while leaving your uterus in tact has become more routine. That's why it's so important that we women really understand our bodies. Turning the other way because we are embarrassed or squeamish or don't like doctors or whatever, doesn't really help us in helping our bodies do the job they are so magnificently designed to do ~ stay healthy and balanced.
Also let me make note here: I am a huge advocate for alternative healing, specifically acupuncture. But there are times when the resources we have through western medicine are needed and for me personally this was one of those times.
I also loathe taking medicine which is most likely why my body had a total freak out the night before my procedure. For those of you who might be facing something similar, just know that the day before might be a little harder than the day of. And if you go under anesthesia, the days following are also harder than the day of. Pain meds work wonders except in my case on the night before my procedure...yup, part of the process is putting your body into false labor. That's right the day before my surgery I was having forced contractions. Lovely. This is to open your cervix so that a telescope can be inserted to do the procedure internally without causing damage. Believe me, even after that hellacious night of forced contractions, I will take it any day over having abdominal surgery. It was quite honestly one of the worst nights of my life. Not every person will react the same, so do not let me make you think that my experience will be your experience. Just be prepared either way and know that you will be alright. Also I didn't realize until it was too late that I was supposed to take a nausea med at the same time that I took my pain med, one hour pre-the onset of contractions. Without going into any more detail, let's just say I have way more compassion and respect for all mothers who have experienced intense morning sickness and/or severe labor pains. *yikes* you ladies are brave.
I also have way more compassion for anyone who has been severely ill, had surgery, gone under anesthesia, who has had to lay there in that sad excuse for clothing that they call a hospital gown, all alone on a gurney while hospital attendants 'not so gently' wheel you into an operating room.
Recovering form the night I had + the procedure + anesthesia is no walk in the park. On one hand I think it's good not to know too much before you go into all of this. On the other hand I kind of wish someone would've prepared me, just a little. Because what I learned through this whole experience is that when you take fear out of the equation and relax into what's happening with your body, knowing that it's all part of the process, the physical discomfort lessens significantly. Stress only exacerbates pain. I want to say a special thank you to Megan who left a comment for me telling me exactly what she went through recovering from anesthesia. I read her comment on day 2 of feeling totally out of it and felt much better just to know that what I was experiencing was normal.
Thankfully I think we forget pain pretty quickly right? Otherwise I don't think women would knowingly have more than one child.
Ten days later, aside from feeling very much like I just want to be home and quiet {not including twitter where I've been chatting up a storm} I feel almost 100% normal. Oh, and to help the lining of my uterus heal I am on hormones temporarily, so I am also easily agitated, cranky and definitely have crazy weird cravings from Louisiana hot sauce to malted milk. *poor Sean* let's just say that I'm not a the biggest joy to live with presently.
But I'm alright, and I have my moments of utter appreciation and bliss for making it out of all of this with relative ease. I learned a lot and have come out stronger and braver and as I mentioned before way more empathetic. I have also learned that rest is good, trying to cram it all in is just too stressful. Also, I think I'm going to try and adopt the gentle pace I've needed to get better into my regular routine. I wonder if the fine, hurried folks of Los Angeles will understand?
What I also wanted to share with you again is how much hearing from so many of you was such a great comfort to me. There was a moment when I was all by myself on that gurney waiting to be wheeled into surgery when I thought of everyone and all the good thoughts you had sent my way. I know it made a difference. Can't thank you enough for all the love xo
I hope me sharing this did not freak you out, and better yet brings some comfort to anyone who might be in the same shoes as me. All in all it wasn't so bad. I am not a good sickie, who is really? I don't think I have a very high tolerance for pain. I am a bit of a baby when it comes to all of this, so my story may be a little bit dramatized ~ although...there were some tough moments. My doctor{s} have been awesome. The hospital staff was very kind. I am on the other side.
So how about we get back to pretty art, cute characters and creativity over here? Speaking of pretty art, I started a whole new series, in a different medium that I am really excited about. Hint, it has a little something to do with the Iphone...
